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In this part 2 of the article Welcome to Haters Club! we will try to explore further into the psychology of the Haters.
Let’s dive into the topic, without wasting any time.
The highest level of hate is when:
“You are hating on someone but secretly you would love to trade your life with theirs”
We could have ended right here, but what, let’s keep digging, shall we?
It’s just you and us here right now…So we can keep it honest between us, can’t we?
When you’re alone and scrolling through their feed, you look at their holiday, at the things they have, the respect people give them, the attention, the events, the glam, the success, the wealth…You want all of it.
Of course, you would make some changes, you’d keep true to yourself…
Your life would be a lot better if you were living like they are.
This feeling, this realization that you are experiencing right now is conflicting.
On one hand, you’re annoyed by the fact that you believe that they’re not worth the success they have and on the other, you understand that you’re probably never going to get there.
You want to know why?
Because you are so busy obsessing about other people that you forget to obsess over yourself, over your goals, over your desires, over what it would take to get to somewhere like where they are.
We send an entire year building our knowledge base and build a unique framework that teaches you how to break free and focus your mind on these specific aspects of life.
You want others to fail, not because you want what’s worse for them, but you want them to validate your inabilities and insecurities.
If they fail as well, it means that your own failure is justified.
The goal is obviously unrealistic and even impossible to attain.
The success of others doesn’t inspire you if you yourself failed, instead, it makes you annoyed.
You know how hard you worked, and you assumed that others obviously didn’t care as much yet got the result you were after for. In your opinion, the game is rigged against you.
In the words of high school student Kevin Chang: “It’s not enough that I should succeed –others should fail.”
But what happens when you don’t succeed?
Not making it is somehow justifiable if nobody else makes it.
If you grew up in Eastern Europe, you might be familiar with the expression:
“It’s all fine as long as my neighbor’s sheep dies as well.”
A common saying about how one would rather have everyone live in misery than others having more than themselves.
But what if others deserve what’s coming to them, what if you were simply not good enough, not smart enough…
You didn’t work hard enough…and they did…
What would life be, if you couldn’t peacock a little bit, especially when it comes to the people around you?
Truth be told, you’re living a mediocre life, it’s just that some of your friends have it worse. In every group of friends, there’s that one person who through variable circumstances has a 10% better live than the rest, but acts like he’s in a completely different league.
All your life you’ve benchmarked your existence to the three friends you grew up with.
For your ego doing better than they are is more than enough.
You put them down, you rarely encourage them, love to talk about yourself, and how amazing you are.
Truth be told you never met someone who’s successful. You’ve been living in a small bubble scared to face the fact that you excel only in your mediocrity.
You know you are the sum of the 5 people you spend most of your time with…if you take pride in your friends being weaker than you are…you might need to reconsider your position.
If you want to be successful in life, please keep this in mind.
“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”
The exceptions to those moments are when you are giving a Ted talk, or you enter any kind of negotiation!
You Make Excuses About Why Things Didn’t Work Out For You.
Everybody knows at least one person like this, some might even identify yourselves.
They always talk about how they had this amazing idea or intent, but because of an external force, they never got to make it a reality.
The economy turned, the customer didn’t get it, the investor didn’t get it, the boss didn’t appreciate you, your partner didn’t appreciate you, the time was never right, you were not born in the right country, in the right family and so on…
It’s always someone or something else, it’s never you!
You got rather good at using excuses to get out of problems and you even begin abusing it.
Now…you‘ve justified it so much that you ended up believing your own…Bull-manure-to hopefully keeps this video monetized.
You spend a lot of time watching others doing their thing rather than doing your own. You feel like you understand what’s happening and that your opinions are as valid as facts.
So, what do you do?
You take every opportunity to attack, especially now when you can do it online with 0 repercussions to your answer.
Your only goal is to earn internet points or cause the most harm.
This is how the cancel culture that’s in full bloom right now got to where it is.
Haters are out for blood, they fail to understand that people can grow, that they can change because their lives haven’t changed enough.
Go to any review page and you will see people giving their opinions on things they shouldn’t.
Do you know what they all have in common? They are spectators, not participants.
How many people sitting in the sidelines talk about what the correct strategy for the game should be?
How many of them are quick to talk about how others should behave, act, invest, or live their lives?
Guess what, unless you can alter the outcome or get to vote with your wallet, you don’t have a say in this!
Of course, you are the person most deserving of praise and because of the previously mentioned excuses you never got to fulfill your full potential…Everybody else got lucky.
They had help you never had access to, people who opened the door for them and served them what was rightfully yours on a silver platter.
They didn’t have to deal with what you’ve had to deal with, they didn’t have the start you had so…Obviously they shouldn’t get it.
Your own personal experience is blinding you to the point where you are unable to see beyond the surface.
You are judging others based on your assumption of what their life is.
You might even be right.
Some people have it a lot easier than you did, but that doesn’t take anything away from them still putting in the work.
We are responsible for making the most out of the hand that we’ve been dealt with, and their success doesn’t take away your ability to improve your own life.
Here is a big take away that we want you to remember:
“Comparing yourself to others is the biggest killer of happiness! Feel blessed for what you have because you don’t know what the other person is missing.”
If everyone around you is a hater, if nobody is even on your side, if you think everyone else is out to get you, you’re not where you want to be in life. If you hate your haters, you’re a hater yourself! You know why?
Because happy people are busy living their happy lives, too busy to care about haters or what other people think about them.
We strongly recommend you do the same.
We’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you got super unlucky and are growing up in an environment where everyone is crazy, but if you move and still run into crazy/negative people, then the problem is with you!
Now, please don’t take this full list as a personal attack!
Instead, we recommend you keep at least a couple of these, preferably the ones that are related to your situation the most, and try to be better.
To improve our community and to keep it honest between us, we’re curious to know:
Did you identify yourself in any of these?
Let us know in the comments and if you did then how you plan to address it.
It takes a strong individual to be able to self-analyze and be honest with oneself, so congrats to those who do join the conversation!
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