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This controversial article will be another one of those critical articles, primarily because we will provide you with facts and not the type of narrative that goes well with your feelings.
Let’s dive into the topic “Is an extramarital affair a crime?” without wasting time.
An extramarital affair happens when a married person engages in sexual activity with someone other than his or her spouse. From a unique perspective, it also applies to a single person having sex with a married person.
No, men don’t forgive cheating wives.
An extramarital affair is very painful for a man, and it’s his biggest betrayal.
Before even thinking about marriage, a man has to work hard financially to be considered a suitable “husband material”.
However, after they achieve the mandatory standards of an ideal suitable husband, many men nowadays fear marriage because they may be cheated on or find out later some of their children are not his.
There have been instances where after a husband caught his wife with another man in a compromising condition while they were out at work, just as the turn of events, the wife played the victim card, blaming their husband for physical assault and emotional harassment.
If that man is dragged to court for a divorce case, with hefty alimony, then he loses that divorce case, then he will land up in a situation where half of his income every month is taken away by the so-called “victim wife”!
Similarly, women feel that while they spend their time and youth building up “Home Sweet Home”, their husbands may be chasing up hot women in their offices.
When a couple gets married, both husband and wife promise each other that the other partner wouldn’t encounter a situation where the husband or wife is caught cheating.
Only for one of the partners to discover later, while he was away fighting the world, creating wealth, you were swayed by a specific tattooed basketball player, a movie cameraman, or a bouncer. Or, while the wife was busy looking after household requirements, the husband ran after hot chicks around him to have one-night stands.
He may have been too busy as he may be spending a significant portion of his day in the office, but that meant he was too busy providing for the family.
His parents may have pushed him to spend 90% of his life before marriage to study hard, survive the cut-throat competition (like IIT JEEs, NEETs or IAS), and help his wife spend a reasonable lifestyle after the wedding.
To add salt to injury, you had been showing him disrespect of late because you were getting ‘the sweet deal of sexual pleasures’ elsewhere.
If a woman cheats, be prepared to go with the man you’re cheating with.
If that man won’t take you, or he’s just the cool tattooed body-built guy who is enjoyed for good sex but has no future, then you’ll have made the biggest mistake because there’s no point in marriage for a man if a lady will cheat on him.
The worst thing a man will ever want to find out is that he had been there solely to pay for the bills.
Suppose you are stuck in an unhappy or unsatisfying marriage (due to distinct reasons) and are not enjoying good sex life with your spouse (again due to any reason under the sun!). In that case, what are the options available to you?
(a) Option 1. Wait for your partner to get turned on (in the absence of love) and reciprocate with the same feeling. Many times, however, the victim’s partner keeps waiting!
(b) Option 2. Watch porn movies on X-rated websites and masturbate any number of times.
Why let your body cry for sex? However, with the Himachal Pradesh High Court’s ban on porn movies in 2018, even that option is snatched from the holy cows (Indians)!
(c) Option 3. Try your hand in the extramarital game where all the rules are against you, and you will be punished by law!
A wife confronts her husband over the extramarital affair and sets her ablaze in front of an 8-year-old son.
In a shocking incident, a man in West Bengal killed his wife by setting her on fire when she protested his extramarital affair.
The act of violence occurred in front of the couple’s eight-year-old daughter, who was locked in a room by the accused when she screamed and tried to help her mother.
A 39-year-old man thrashed his wife and then set her on fire on Tuesday, 26 Mar 19, after protesting his extramarital affair. The incident happened in front of the couple’s eight-year-old daughter in West Bengal’s Liluah.
Rupali Karmakar, the 33-year-old victim, had suffered 80% burns after her husband poured kerosene on her and set her ablaze.
The accused, Samir Karmakar, was arrested after the wife stated to the police in a critical condition, after which she died, reported the Times of India.
According to the latest information, Sameer locked their daughter, a student of the third standard, when she started screaming.
In her statement, the girl said, as quoted by the Times of India, “My mother asked for drinking water when my father set her on fire. My father had warned me against giving her water and had dragged and locked me in a room. I started screaming and banging on the door. Hearing me scream, my grandmother came and opened the door. But my grandfather and aunt held me back from trying to help my mother.”
Later, neighbours rushed the victim to Howrah District Hospital.
The hospital superintendent, Narayan Chatterjee, told the media, “The patient was brought with 80% burns. We shifted her to the ICU and tried to save her, but she died in the morning.”
We strongly feel that the foundation of an extramarital relationship is laid at a noticeably early age in one’s life.
The parents are responsible to a great extent for the same.
This issue results directly from the following problems, which are applicable for both boys and girls:
1. Forced Education: Parent’s Illogical Dreams. Every parent feels that only those kids (particularly boys) who get admission into IITs and AIIMs deserve a decent life.
They start dreaming about their children cracking the entrance exams of IITs and AIIMS in the first attempt.
They start pumping their life savings into this dream without even evaluating whether their child has the competence and skill to crack those deadly exams.
Also, with their money invested in the fees, their expectations keep soaring to unimaginable limits!
In this whirlwind of expectations, parents forget their childhood, youth, and the achievements they made in their life.
They conveniently forget that no two students are the same.
Basic Instinct. Some persons have gotten an instinct for Engineering, and some have gotten it for medicine, commerce, or arts.
If a student realizes it and wants to study Arts or Commerce, his parents force him (since it is observed more in the case of boys) to take Engineering or Medicine and prepare for either IIT or AIIMS right from class 9th itself, what will be the result? That student’s struggle will start from the tender age of fourteen itself.
Round the Clock. The student will try to cram up formulas and equations to survive classes 9th to 12th, spend 8 hours in school, then 4 more hours in evening tuitions for Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (or Biology), as if nothing was taught in school was relevant.
Then, the student is expected to study overnight like Batman and cram up the whole book by morning.
Result Time. Their calibre is exposed entirely in the Competitive Entrance Exams.
The entire world knows if they will be forced to pick up a stream in class 9th or will be allowed to choose a stream as per their choice.
Longest Cycle of Struggle. In short, from class 9th until reaching a university, the student keeps struggling and somehow manages the pass with a decent grade. Again, this adversely affects his campus job placements.
If he doesn’t get an excellent job, he will surely not get a good wife through the arranged marriage scenario!
The abovementioned cycle continues through class 10th, followed by classes 11th and 12th. Some students even drop out a year or two after class 12th.
If they even manage to get into a good university, the rat race starts again.
A good grade after 4 to 5 years (for an Engineering or a Medical course, respectively) of challenging work will ensure a good campus placement, followed by an excellent job. It will help in getting a beautiful wife too.
Moral of the Story. All childhood and youth are lost in the race that starts from class 9th up to getting a job.
2. No Sex Education
The story mentioned above clearly defines an essential part of one’s life.
In the culture of our subcontinent, a great taboo is attached to sex, and a young adult’s priorities are made truly clear from class 9th itself.
It’s the age when the body starts developing hormones, and the person slowly enters the zone of adulthood.
Responsibility to Teach. Parents don’t believe in educating their kids about sex and feel that sex education is the school’s responsibility, where they would eventually be taught about it.
Whereas school authorities feel that it’s the responsibility of parents to instruct their kids about sex.
Bond 007. Kids have their ways and means to find answers to all the queries related to sex that crop up when they see actors and actresses getting intimate on television or in cinema.
Confusion. Confusion regarding sex starts getting into their heart and crotch. But their mind dissuades them from thinking about sex, even though the heart and the crotch aren’t thinking about anything but sex.
But your mind draws up a boundary conditioned by your parents to concentrate on cracking IITs and AIIMs exams.
No mingling of any sort with the opposite sex is entertained.
If you are smart, you must find a way to go about it without getting caught.
So, an internal battle starts between the mind and the heart/crotch on the other.
The battle is fierce and relentless until the person engages in pre-marital sex or finally experiences the wedding night.
Resultant Conflict. Try to understand life’s dilemmas.
You don’t understand the subjects you have been forced to select from your parents.
Your heart and your crotch demand sexual exploration, but you cannot do either of the two.
The only thing you can do is to keep your face hanging over an open book and salvage your life between exams somehow.
Those who choose the subjects enjoy studying hard and don’t mind sacrificing the demands of the heart and the crotch.
Double whammy! By age 15, all doubts related to one’s sexual preference are evident in one’s mind.
A girl is supposed to get attracted to a boy and vice versa.
If you have sexual preferences that are socially unacceptable, may God save your soul.
Your problems have just multiplied. You have to fight an academic conflict and a sexual one too!
Moral of the Story. You have not chosen the subjects of your choice during your school and college days, and now you cannot listen to your heart or crotch either.
You still have hope and time if you decide to love yourself and live life on your terms.!
Fair and Lovely. Suppose you happen to be a girl in India. In that case, you need to be fair and beautiful, thanks to the many irrelevant advertisements for fairness creams that pump in millions of rupees by glorifying the importance of fair skin.
The impact of these advertisements is so intense that even some boys don’t hold back from trying these creams.
In short, either you be fair and beautiful, or your father will have to give you a hefty dowry during your wedding.
The Great Restrictions. Due to the taboo attached to sex and the invisible fears in the minds of a girl’s parents, she is not allowed to talk to any boy she knows throughout her single life.
She is not allowed to meet anybody by herself.
She is not allowed to wear short clothes or clothes of their choice for fear that a boy will see too much of her skin.
She is not allowed to touch, kiss, or have sex with another boy.
Sex Education is just a no-no and has been covered in this blog!
Girls (and boys, too) are not allowed to have a committed relationship with the opposite sex, even when they become legal adults.
They are not supposed to have night outs or enjoy themselves with their friends.
Social Pressures. In addition to the above, we must acknowledge that parents never want anything wrong to happen to their daughter or son.
Society’s unreasonable pressures and their own experiences since adulthood often lead to a situation where both families (the girls and the boys) end up doing something they had never imagined.
Many a time, its fear in the minds of the girl’s or the boy’s parents as mentioned below: –
“What if our girl decides to marry someone outside our community or religion?
How will we face society’s uncomfortable questions?
What if she gets physically involved with someone and gets pregnant before marriage?
What will society say?
Who will take responsibility for both?
What if the boy refuses to marry her upon realizing her state of pregnancy?
(In case of more than one daughter in the house) What if my elder daughter, who has a Muslim boyfriend, decides to marry him? How will society react to it? Who will agree to marry our younger daughter/ daughters then?
What if our daughter-in-law doesn’t give us the proper respect and care that we expect from her?
…. and so on.
Moral of the story. So many baby girls are aborted or killed at birth. If they still survive and enter this world by some means, they are ensured a suffocating and throttled life, right from their inception to their last breath.
3. Forced Arranged Marriage
Ready for Marriage? Even after surviving school exams, struggling through university exams, and managing to get a decent job, you get no respite because your parents immediately make it their next mission to find you a suitable ‘arranged spouse’. Congratulations, you’re getting married, whether you want it or not.
Scenario 1. Due to a forced education and subsequent struggles at school, followed by a rigorous time at the university to barely straightforward exams with passing marks, you never got the time or dared to cross the line of your family’s restrictions (more valid in the case of girls).
After reaching the golden period of marriageable age, you are left with no option but to accept your parents’ choice of an ‘arranged spouse’ for you. If you eventually get to liking your spouse, good!
But if you don’t like your spouse, may God save you.
Your chances of joining the extramarital club increase because the bug of love is still inactive in your heart. You will eventually be compelled to try a love-bite stunt outside of your marriage, even after 35 to 40 years of it too!
Scenario 2. You loved someone, but your parents didn’t allow you to marry that person for the differences between you in terms of caste, religion, region, etc.
Then, you were forcefully married off to someone you don’t like—never liked the person since you first saw them, and neither at a later stage—due to general incompatibility.
This problem leaves a noticeably big dent in the victim’s mind, which increases the chances of joining the extramarital club at an incredibly early stage.
Scenario 3. You started caring for and subsequently loving someone during your school or university days.
If that person is accepted by your family (for any reason under the sun, such as the same caste, religion, region, etc.), you can at least live with the peace of mind that you loved someone and married the same person.
But even that doesn’t guarantee you exclusion from the extramarital club.
Should we assume that forced arranged marriages and the consequent marital incompatibility are the main reasons for extramarital affairs?
Should we blame the parents (who happen to be under immensely illogical social pressures) for forcing their sons and daughters to quietly accept proposals for an arranged marriage for the sake of a fake social dignity and silently endure an unhappy marriage and an unsatisfactory sex life?
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