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Everybody loves love. Right?
Who wouldn’t like a little romance and companionship, but before he gets swept away in the fantasy of it all, you should know that there are some brutal truths about relationships that will bring you all back to reality.
Today we will look at truths that you should keep in mind whether you’re already in a relationship or are on the market.
So, let’s get started.
You will, at one point or another, get heartbroken.
This is the truth for the 99% of us who do not end up staying with our first love forever.
The truth is that most relationships don’t work out and end in either a breakup or a divorce.
At times, a breakup can be the best thing that ever happened to you, but it’s hard to recognize that when the heartbreak is fresh.
But if you approach it with the right perspective, a broken heart can teach you lessons and help you grow and eventually help lead you to the right person.
You Cannot Rely on a Relationship for Happiness
If you are looking for happiness in another person, you’re not going to find it.
It would be best to find happiness within yourself without relying on someone else to be the source of joy.
This issue has been elaborated separately in Why You Are Unhappy?
That puts an unfair burden on your partner, and it’s much more likely that your unhappiness would bring them down to the point where you are both unhappy.
Despite what hundreds or even thousands of loves might tell you, simply being in love is not enough to sustain a healthy, long-term relationship.
You need other elements, including trust, respect, understanding, communication, honesty, and friendship. There are also logistical aspects of the relationship that involve things like paying the bill, potentially raising children and determining where to live.
And all of these factors can affect whether a relationship survives.
Now some of you might want to argue this point.
You might think you already find the absolute perfect person for you, but that would mean that there’s nothing, big or small, you would change about them, and nothing that they do irritates or annoys you at any time.
Now I ask you, can you honestly say that.
All people are flawed; you must determine if your significant other’s flaws are ones you are prepared to deal with in the long term. The issues related to Dream Lady and Dream Gentleman are covered in separate articles.
With the ease of access, most of us have today-dating apps and social media.
There are thousands of potential partners at our figure tips at any given time.
But your relationship will never work if you always have one eye focused on who else might be interested or available.
It’s not fair to your significant other, and you’ll suffer as well because you’ll never be genuinely happy with who you have.
I know you’ve heard this before, but it’s still something that not enough people pay proper attention to; as with anything, the results you get are directly proportional to the work you put into it.
Some of this work involves assessing your behaviours and determining how you can be a better partner and following through.
But there’s a lot more to it than that if you find that your significant other isn’t worthy of the time and effort, it takes to maintain a healthy relationship. It’s time to reassess.
Not being willing to put in the work is one reason people don’t find love.
Yes, love is blind, and the initial infatuation we may have for someone will often cause us to overlook all the red flags we can so quickly identify in our friend’s significant others.
But these issues never go away and will become even more significant problems the longer you try to sweep them under the rug.
You might stay in a troubled relationship for too long because it’s comfortable.
Your relationship has fallen off, the spark is gone, you’re barely communicating, but you are still sleeping next to this person every night.
At least you know what you’re dealing with in this relationship, and do you want to put in the effort to start all over with someone new. Other people don’t want to admit defeat and instead will keep up with appearances while sacrificing their happiness.
But this is just doing a disservice to you.
You might feel like you have the most robust connection possible with your partner, but you are still not a mind reader.
Even if you two talk about everything, you can never be 100% sure about the things that go on in your partner’s mind that they leave unsaid.
In an ideal world, you would only have eyes for your partner, but sometimes simple biology gets in the way of this.
You’re still going to be attracted to other people even if you love your significant other very much.
Love doesn’t erase temptation, but hopefully, it’ll keep you from acting on it.
This issue has been elaborately covered in Sexually Confused Life? and Sex: A Taboo in World’s Second most Populous Country!
The people who are closest to you, including your significant others, know the most about you; this means they know what makes you happy, but they also know just how to push your buttons.
Insults from loved ones can cut deep because they know just how to do it.
If you start with the low blows, you can expect your partner to lob them right back, and it could get gruesome very fast.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s not just about you anymore.
You aren’t going to get your way 100% of the time, and neither is your significant other.
You aren’t going to always agree with which movie to watch, where to go on vacation, which side of the bed to sleep on or a million other things.
Give and take is essential in a relationship.
So, you better be ready to compromise.
You are not the same person you were a year ago; whether you’ve changed for the good or the bad in subtle or obvious ways, you have changed.
These changes become more pronounced the longer you stay with a person to the point where the person you’re dating hardly resembles the person you first fell in love with.
Ideally, you and your significant other will grow together in the same direction, but sometimes the opposite happens, and partners no longer share the same worldview, life goals, or interests.
This has immense potential to drive two people apart overall, and it’s not something that can be easily avoided.
You could be soul mates who are connected on every level in every time and space, but you’re still going to have disagreements; it’s the nature of being human.
A healthy amount of fighting is suitable for a relationship; it ideally results in conflict resolution growth and a closer bond.
However, you use destructive tactics like name-calling, low blows, bringing out past issues, and physical aggression, it can have the very opposite effect.
You aren’t going to be a lovable ray of sunshine every day, and neither is your partner.
Everybody has bad days and difficult seasons in life, and you must be willing to take the good with the bad.
Give your partner some space if they need it and if they recognize that the feelings of dislike are temporary, at least in most cases.
Not surprisingly, the global divorce rate is constantly rising.
It has increased by over 250% since 1960.
The country with the highest divorce rate is Luxembourg, where over 85% of marriages end up in divorce.
The country with the lowest divorce rate is India, where only one per cent of marriages ends up in divorce.
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