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Detached From Parents After Marriage? (Part 1)

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Out of Prison!

In many Indian households, the girls are kept under immense pressure to behave in a certain way, their parents feel comfortable about.

For Example…

Don’t talk to “the boys”! They will have sex and leave you lurching with sin.

Don’t wear short clothes. Or else you will get attacked by sexual predators.

Don’t have active social media accounts. Or else you will be trolled by boys or by online predators.

Don’t stay out for late-night parties. Or else, you will be molested by sexual predators prowling on roads

Don’t go abroad for higher education… You will not be safe there. Who will be responsible for your safety?

Don’t do any job! Who has time to worry about your safety, while you are working at the offices?

Most of the daughters are forced to believe that they can do everything they dream to do “Only after marriage!

Why?

Then the girl’s parents will not be responsible “IF” something goes wrong and knows very well that her future husband and in-laws will ensure that her “prison tenure” continues, till her last breath. But on the same breath, we also acknowledge that these fears are not wrong, due to increased incidents of rapes in this country, years-long of court cases and pathetic law and order scenario.

In case the girl is lucky enough to get married to a good husband and in-laws then anyway they prefer to forget the ex-jailers (her parents) of her old homes. She finds it more convenient to forget her life before marriage like a nightmare.

If she is not lucky and happens to get married to a restrictive husband and in-laws, then the girl will have more so reason to curse her parents, while fighting her everyday war! Many a time, life before marriage appears to be much better than her life after marriage

Forced “Arranged Marriage

If the lady is forced to marry someone she doesn’t love and happens to suffer every day after marriage, then she automatically detaches herself emotionally after getting married.

Why?

Because the people who were supposed to help her to lead a happy life happens to be the main reason for her everyday miseries.

In-Law’s Pressure

Many a time in-laws force that lady to cut her tie with her biological parents, so as to prove her loyalty -in-laws for them. Mothers-in-law feels great pride in ensuring that their daughters-in-law just behave like her own daughter, as far as work of the house is concerned.

Also, this way chances of that lady sharing her day to day issues at her in-law’s house, with her parents also reduce to zero. Face saving act!

Real Life Incident – By Mrs. Rajju Manju

Two months after my marriage, my sister got a marriage proposal. She was MBBS, with a government job at that time, the proposal was from a cosmetic surgeon.

Boy’s parents were aged and they couldn’t travel 300kms, to see my sister. So he asked that if we can arrange a meeting in our (hubby) house to see her.

I asked my mother in law, she said No.

I asked hubby, he said No.

I asked why,

Hubby: I have a sister too, that doesn’t look nice if they come to see your sister in our house.

Me: your sister doesn’t want to get marry, moreover she won’t come out from her room, to see relatives only, why would she come out when the boy will come here.😀

Hubby: NO. Told once, that’s it. Orders are orders.

(as if he is Amitabh Bachchan from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham😀)

My dad: beta, no problem, we will book a hotel room and you come over there to be with your sister. she can’t be alone there, as mom was not coming because she was not feeling well.

Next morning when I asked my mother in law and hubby that, can I go and join my sister, they said No.

My dad was calling me

Dad: when you are coming to the hotel.

Me: dad they said ..No.

Dad: give the phone to your husband, I will ask him.

Hubby was at the gate, about to go clinic.

I didn’t want to see an embarrassing situation, where hubby says no and my dad will get hurt, so i said

Me: No dad….he already left home and he won’t pick the phone in the clinic. So leave it, dad . I can’t come.

Dad said ok with a heavy heart.

When hubby came back home from the clinic, I was crying. He said it’s not a big issue, leave it.

Me: when you don’t think it’s a big one, why you didn’t agree with them to come over here or me to go there, why didn’t you said ok.

My parents who took care of me all these years, don’t know what’s good or not for me. Two months of marriage and you know better than them…Being an educated and independent girl to date. I have to ask permission to go to my parents now.

I stopped there.

I cried a river, no no its ocean.

Career

If the lady is working, so half of her day is spent in the office. Saturdays and Sundays are utilised to do important things kept pending for the five weekdays. Like, shopping, movies, friends etc…

Handling Husbands

Handling a husband’s tantrums is one of the most important and draining task of a lady’s life. If the lady is working then life gets even more difficult, with exception to those ladies, whose husbands are caring and takes good care of her by sharing some of her work.

Family after kids

Once a lady is blessed with a kid then her life just goes for a high jump. In addition to household work, office (if she is working) and husband, she is the main responsible person for the upbringing of her kids. From the birth of that kid, till they are married off, the mother is always on her toes.

Conclusion

So, due to the reasons mentioned above, the lady’s biological parents take back seat in her life’s priority and slowly after a few years of marriage, she automatically gets detached from her parents and siblings.

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Courtesy

https://www.quora.com/What-was-a-serious-moment-with-your-spouse/answer/Rajju-Manju?ch=99&share=852a1e77&srid=WWQyQ

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