Death, A Reality of Life?

Introduction

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In this article, we will explore the unchartered waters of Death.

Let’s dive into the topic, without wasting any further time.

Courtesy – YouTube

Death: A Reality?

Death, Fate, and karma are three chilling ideas that fill the weak human heart with anxious thoughts!

Then comes Rebirth!

And the trepidant query: Will I come back upon the earth again in the new human body?

Or, is all an eternal zero and silence after the dissolution of my present physical body?

There is no human being on this planet who never asks himself/ herself some such questions, even for once in his lifetime.

Death is a constant phenomenon facing a man with its grim ruthlessness.

Who is there amongst us, who has not encountered death in his family or amongst his friends and relatives or in the daily newspapers’ pages?

And accident and sudden misfortunes throwing a pall of gloom on the smooth and happy flow of life!

Do we not scream out then: Why, why?

Why has this mishap happened to my family or me?

Am I bedevilled by a mysterious agency called Fate?

Or, who knows, it is the inevitable consequences of my past misdeeds!

Some More Fears Related to Death

Have you been worried about the fact that you will die one day! When? God knows!

Do you feel that the cluelessness of the exact date and time of death is responsible for an unhappy life?

You make a long checklist, where you dream about retiring at 60 years, like a millionaire.

But do you know whether you will be able to live that long life of 60+ years?

What if you die at the age of 32 years? Or 40 years? Or 50 years? Or 60 years?

Will it not be a dream situation, where a person is told right at the time of their birth regarding the exact time of his or her death?

So that the person can plan out his or her life.

Courtesy – YouTube

Incident 1

One of our relatives had two daughters.

The wife never wanted to have more kids, but the husband was adamant about having a boy.

They tried one more time for the sake of having a boy.

But destiny had other plans.

The third time also, they had a daughter.

The couple lost all hopes of having a son or heir of their empire.

The game of having a daughter or son is just like a game of death.

No one on this planet can predict it.

Still, the husband wanted to give one more try as the last try.

The wife revolted, but she had to give in to her husband’s demands.

She was pregnant fourth time, hoping that this time will bless them with a son. But this time, God was happy and blessed the couple with a healthy boy.

The family was so happy as if they had won a lottery of US $ 1 Billion! Time passed by.

The couple started living a comfortable life.

They were convinced that they will have a son and his wife always looking after them and ensuring a great retirement life when they grow old.

The boy got more facilities, love, and care compared to his three sisters.

Finally, at the age of 18 years, the boy went to Pune for a university degree.

But God had entirely different plans.

In his third year of college, the boy met with an accident, where he just died on the spot.

The couple could not meet their son for the last time before his death or say the final goodbye.

The couple just lost all the hope of living life after that. I have witnessed them dying every day. At that age, they couldn’t think of trying one more time to have more son.

Their happiness in life just ended. Life started appearing as worthless to live.

Courtesy – YouTube

Reality Check

Life is fragile.

Death is unpredictable. It can strike at any time at any age. 

There is no single man on this planet who can predict the date and time of one’s own or other’s death.

It is tragic when a life is snuffed unexpectedly. 

But it is even more tragic when you know that you are facing a painful end due to a terminal disease or old age riddled with pain and illness.

You may have unending problems in life or are a happy soul; death is inevitable.

This life gives us both joy and sorrow, and facing death is a mixture of both.

An unknown void is fearsome, but the spiritual ones know that death is only another beginning.

Ready to Die?

No one wants to die. 

You must be an evolved soul to embrace death as it seems like the end.

Life is beautiful, fraught with desire, love, and hate.

Emotions wrap around us and make us want to live. 

Attachments are formed with spouse, child, family, and friends.

Although our scriptures, be it in any faith, call death the liberator from worldly grief and problems, the will to live is often stronger than they want to die.

Emotional Turmoil

Let us look at the emotional turmoil of preparing for death.

It is a big struggle to grapple with the thought of dying.

If you do get the advance intimation that the finger of death is touching you, you can go into depression or react with disbelief and anger.

Many terminally ill patients sink to despair when they realize that their time with their loved ones is numbered.

Accepting that you are going to face your end is daunting.

Most terminal patients face not only death but pain and suffering that is worse than death itself. It is not easy to handle the struggle on your own.

Religious Cover?

Religion and spirituality are different, but both stress that life is not permanent, and we have to leave our present life at one time or the other.

Many times, religion becomes a crutch that supports the emotional weakness that the dying person faces.

Spiritual discourses help the patients understand that pain and suffering are temporary and that our bodies are perishable, not our soul. 

The fact that your soul can be immortal in eternity can soothe many dying persons who have lost hope.

The practical Concerns While Facing Death

Although it may sound insensitive and crass when you mention practical concerns over impending death, somebody needs to find the strength to deal with the authentic fact that the ill person may die.

Many ways can mitigate the practical details of pain in the aftermath of a death.

We should face mortality.

Property Disputes. Many times, the family disputes over property more than sharing grief at a loved one’s passing. This is more the case when the head of the family is the person who dies.

Business Woes. If you manage a vast business and your business colleagues hear of your illness, they might try and take advantage.

Think of this warning of imminent death as an opportunity to secure your finances before death takes you away from your loved ones.

It is not a pleasant thought, but humans’ greed almost makes them forget that they are mortal too.

Fluid Dynamics of a Couple: When Terminal Disease Strikes

Two people fall in love and are tied together for life till death do them part. This is what fairy tales are made up of. But the reality may be different.

If one spouse has a condition that renders them incapable of fully living life, it is not fair to stop the other from living their lives.

In many cases, the spouse, especially the woman, is expected to give up all of life’s pleasures because the spouse is not well.

If the disease is a long drawn out affair and the couple understands each other’s needs, both mental and physical, they may decide that allows the other healthy partner to live their life fully. 

This may save the spouse from a lot of emotional and physical issues. It is no secret that life does not stop for one person when another is sick.

Suppose both partners can decide that the healthy spouse should be free to assuage their physical needs when the need arises. This can save both from heartbreak.

The human body is like a car. It will run full throttle only if it continually gets adequate fuel. 

The deprived person may face a breakdown of mind and soul if denied the simple pleasures of life.

The healthy one can look after the needy spouse without the pain of living an unfulfilled life.

Friendship and emotional support can be maintained.

A balance can be reached if the practical nature of both spouses can come into play.

Social Interferences. Society does dictate that spouses should be loyal to each other and that fidelity is the most important thing. Still, in the vent of a long and irreversible illness that leaves you incapable of sexual activity, you should let your spouse free to look after her/his needs.

Is Life Partner Dead?

After the afflicted spouse dies, the suffering one should be handled very gently.

Once the family and friends help her/ him grieve to the fullest.

The survivor’s guilt is a natural emotion and can cause severe depression and trauma.

It takes a considerable effort from family and friends to help the person leave the guilt behind and try to live a whole life after a loved spouse’s death.

Remarriage. Counselling for remarriage can be sought out.

The widowed person must be allowed to live an entire life after the spouse’s death.

Life does not end with one person and should always be uppermost in people who love the suffering individual. 

The effort to re-establish love and hope in the mind of the surviving spouse is significant.

Child Losing One Parent?

Innocent and Lost. Children do not understand the concept of death. 

They feel bereft and abandoned when a loved one or a parent dies. 

They need to be prepared and told the truth before the unfortunate event happens. 

This will help them deal with the trauma better.

It is always better Not to mislead the child with stories about death that is not true.

The growing child has a vivid imagination, and a story that is thought to bring her succour from grief may scar his or her for life.

Children are more resilient than we think. They are open to realigning their life after the loss of a parent or loved one.

They need assurance that all is well in their world.

Family members can help the child by looking after their emotional and physical needs.

The sooner the other parent can work through their grief, the sooner the child can be helped. The parent who is left behind often becomes the child’s anchor in the fast-changing life they face.

Recommendations

In the case of Child. If the need arises, the child can be taken to a psychological counsellor to help him/her deal with the loss.

Grief counselling and psychotherapy can help with accepting the loss. Try and enrol the child in counselling sessions.

Keep them busy so that they acclimatize to the loss as soon as possible. Keeping children alive with activities of their choice can help them adjust.

Grief is a genuine thing. The elders should never dismiss the feelings of the children as unimportant. The scar of being disregarded can warp the tender mind of the child.

People in their 40s. Every person over the age of 40 should make a “Will”. It is not limited to ill patients.

Making a will is not binding nor needs a legal notarization. You can write it out on plain paper and get it witnessed to make it legally binding. You can change it as many times as you wish.

Only the last will is recognized by law. Could you keep it safe with your trusted person? You need a trustworthy person to execute the will, too, in the unfortunate event of your death.

Medical Insurance. Ensure that you have enough medical insurance to look after any eventuality, and you or your loved ones do not suffer.

Medical insurance takes care that you get the best treatment. Your family is spared the hassle of arranging for funds at a time of crisis.

Life Insurance. Life insurance is also necessary, especially if you have dependents.

To ensure enough life coverage that can be invested to give annual returns that allow your dependents to be independent.

A term policy of about 20 times your annual income should provide financial relief to your spouse and children after you depart for your heavenly abode. 

You can also be at peace that they are looked after and never have to ask for anything or demean themselves to sustain a decent lifestyle.

Sharing Important Details with Life Partner. Ensure your spouse knows about your business and investments so that there are no vast losses financially.

Your family will face a lot of emotional upheaval at the loss of their loved one, and financial security will help them cope to a small extent.

Support Groups

The best way is to seek professional help and join support groups that help you deal with accepting the grief and making the rest of your life meaningful. 

Many support groups can help with the process of acceptance. 

Some psychological counsellors help in preparing the patient and the family for the last days.

Support groups help people who face pain. 

You can hear about how other people confronted their pain and overcame it. 

It is an excellent means to share and find support from people who have gone through or are going through similar experiences. 

You can find offline or online support groups and can interact with people who can help.

Conclusion

Grief is a real thing that needs to be accepted and dealt with.

The patient who faces death is the one who meets the most pain, but the loved ones and the caregivers are affected too.

Sickness and disease can change the atmosphere in a house. It is essential to keep living with a modicum of happiness, even when faced with adversity.

Death is the end of all life, and everyone has to face it one day.

It is essential to look at the terminal illness as an opportunity to say your goodbyes and make sure that your spouse and children can face life without you.

Give them the gift of life even if you are getting ready to say goodbye to your own. Leave them with good memories and fond thoughts.

Instil in them the faith that they can survive your loss and reshape their life even while they miss your presence in their life.

Make them solid and guilt-free. Your life will gain meaning in the end when you live for your loved ones’ happiness.

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